We don't actively welcome kids to our establishment but we don't turn them away either. Since most kids these days are products of Thatcher kids a typical kid issue in 2007 goes something like this:-
WH- (multiple silent witnesses) "Your kid has just destroyed several panels of newly built fencing, smeared mud over the walls, broken several tree branches and left them scattered over the car park, broken two glasses, left crisp wrappers and serviettes on the floor, shouted, bullied other kids, run around incessantly between all the customers tables, smeared greasy hands over car bonnets, attempted to obtain drinks with no money or manners and generally been a pain in the arse".
CUSTOMER- "Are you saying that my kid has just destroyed...................."
"Yeah but if you hadn't had a fence, white walls, mud etc etc he wouldn't have done it"
"It couldn't have been our Tristram/Chloe!"
"He/she's been sitting here with us all the time"
"He should n't have parked his car there"
"That fence was broken anyway"
"How dare you criticise my child"
"Yeah but, no but, yeah but"
"We have failed to ingrain any form of civil discipline into our child therefore, it is your problem for the next two hours while we sit here and get pissed."
"See you in court"
WH- "Hope the little brat enjoyed his two and a half eaten nuggets, three chips and E709 stabiliser - hope to see you again in McDonalds - have a nice day ya'all"
Dark Lord abandoned sports car in disabled parking space.
Two stag beetles found in the pub at closing time. Quite a few about this year that makes three altogether, not to mention the cock chafers.
Saturday, 2 June 2007
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3 comments:
Deep down the parents are afraid. They see and believe TV and are convinced that bad behaviour is the key to success.
Cant you extend the fence at the fron in to a sort of cage arrangement and put them in there.
The children or the parents or the dogs. Byarkwn!!!!!
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