Limestone Cowboy

Four tons of limestone gravel dust arrived today and was dumped at the front of the pub. With the help of Devon, my erstwhile assistant, we set about shovelling and raking the lot onto the petanque terrain. Anyone performing maintenance or construction work at the White Hart is guaranteed an audience of experts, 'how much?'s, 'what you wanna do's, 'I'd have done's, 'Did you hire that?'s 'I've got one of those you could have had's, all round mockers and nae'er do wells. Any notion of physical assistance completely out of the question.

Being a reasonably thick-skinned publican (getting thicker by the day I might add) we persevered and completed the task in admirable fashion. I now have a petanque surface to be proud of. Comedy moment of the day was when Peter Crouch exchanged the jack with a toilet ball from the urinal. This was duly thrown at the start of a game and smashed to pieces on impact. I hope they both washed their hands.