Sir Tesco Dave MMBE

With a little over three weeks until the smoking ban, action continues apace at the White Hart in readiness for the big day. The petanque court boundary was laid last nght. This was in front of an audience of 'do you know what you want to do's........', 'if I were you's.....', and 'why don't you's.....'. I was completey anaethsetised by 7.00pm, and required a powerful Stowford antidote to restore order to the frontal cortex.

As observed by the keen tippler, excessive cigarette smoking by the regulars continues unabated. M&J Vending were on the scene quickly to refill the machine. Earlier on I had a chat with P&S Meats, posted a cheque off to J&S Meats into A&L, spoken to J&S Rook outside J&J Stores, followed the M&J Seafood van into the WH. 3663 spells 'FOOD' on the telephone keypad.

A eureka moment from Tesco Dave means I shall be off to B&Q today to buy some low level solar garden lights. These will be put into buckets of sand and used as outside ashtrays. As a non-smoker Tesco Dave asserted that his wife who smokes outside in his garden 'behaved like a moth' and was attracted towards the light when she need to extinguish her cigarette. This completely stopped her using the flower pots, lawn, drain, patio - anything but the ashtray.

During the summer months when a lot of people sit outside, bar staff have a strange habit of leaving empty glasses but removing all the ashtrays. Consequently people use the floor, flower pots, lawn, drain etc to stub out their fags. Luckily for them I pay someone to go round and sweep them up every morning. Hopefully, the Tesco Dave experiment will prove an astonishing success which will enable the bar staff to spend more time hiding behind the sink, polishing up their vanishing acts.